I feel like I need to introduce myself all over again. I don't know what the protocol is for how often a person is supposed to write a new blog post, but it's been a number of weeks for me since the last one! Summer. Kids home from school. Busy. Feeling more drained than I thought I would after being so vulnerable in the last post. Those are my reasons excuses in a nutshell. :) I feel it necessary to thank those of you, from the bottom of my heart, who offered words of encouragement, gave me a squeeze, or said/whispered "thanks for sharing your story" in the last weeks. It does a soul good, and I'm grateful.
Yes, terrification is a word. My husband teases makes fun of me when I make up words, but sometimes it's just easier to come up with a new word! AND, 99% of the time he knows what I'm talking about so it works out just fine. :)
*Sigh* I've MADE myself do things up high to see if I can ease out of my fear, but it just doesn't go away. It pushes me WAY out of my comfort zone to be up high.
I've found God seems to be all about height, about lifting us up. And, living outside of comfort zones. Ga-reaaat.
- He makes my feet like the feet of a deer. He enables me to stand on the HEIGHTS. *II Samuel 22:34 *Psalm 18:33 *Habakkuk 3:19
- But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength; they will SOAR on wings like eagles... *Isaiah 40:31
- He reached down from on HIGH and took hold of me, He drew me out of deep waters. *Psalm 18:16 *II Samuel 22:17
- A song of ASCENTS: I lift UP my eyes to the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and earth. *Psalm 121: 1-2
- The New Jerusalem is measured as high as it is long and wide. About 1,400 miles high! The first time I heard this measurement I remember thinking, "Um, I'm TOTALLY content just having a place prepared in the lower levels. I'll be hanging out down there most of the time anyways..." *Revelation 21:16
A few weeks ago I was running. (I hate running actually, :) but I started the Couch to 5K program and it's going well, only two more weeks to go! It's been a feeling of accomplishment as well as something new to shake up my exercise routine.) I've chosen not to listen to any music while running. Just me and my thoughts and some peace and quiet. This particular evening I was reflecting on the fact that with a busy summer going on with the kids at home I hadn't been faithful at spending one on one time with God. Don't know about you, but when I find myself in this situation I very quickly imagine God sitting in His throne above with His arms crossed looking the other way, stern and disappointed because I've been a Martha for a few days. I whispered that I was sorry, and that I'd like to come back. That I missed the quiet fellowship. God reminded me right away that He hadn't left me, hadn't turned His face away and that He would GLADLY welcome me back. As I'm running I get the mental picture of the prodigal son returning home, nervous about how his reappearance would be received. And then I see the father - my Heavenly Father - standing at the end of the lane with a huge smile on His face and arms open wide. It choked me up for a minute. God whispered the reminder that it's not HIM who needs ME to function properly. It's ME who suffers when I decide I'm too busy and my self-discipline of spending time with Him becomes lax. I begin to feel like I'm in a desert place quicker. My perspective becomes blurred quicker. The responses of my heart become more sarcastic and doubtful quicker...
I felt an invitation to come up out of the desert place and back to the mountain of God.
God worked with quite a few Biblical characters up on mountains. To name a few:
In *I Kings 18 He used Elijah to teach a powerful lesson to others on Mt. Carmel. A story that can quickly give a person goosebumps!
In *I Kings 19 an exhausted and scared Elijah fled to Horeb, the mountain of God, where he himself was challenged when the presence of God came through in a whisper.
In *Matthew 17 Peter, James, and John had quite the experience seeing Moses and Elijah talking with Jesus at the top of a mountain. (I personally can't wait to talk to all of these men someday!! Can't wait to hear their stories.)
In *Genesis 22 God tested Abraham to the max on Mt. Moriah by asking him to preform the unthinkable, then blessed Abraham by providing him with an alternate sacrifice.
In II *Chronicles 3 He used Solomon to build His beautiful temple on Mt. Moriah.
In *Judges 7 Gideon watched God begin to reduce his small army of 32,000 men by stating that "anyone who trembles with fear may turn back and leave Mt. Gilead." (I'm not positive about this, but I'm thinking the size of the Midianite enemy army wasn't necessarily why they were shaking with nerves. But, that quite possibly there were many of them with the same fear of heights that I share?!? I don't know, but I think that makes a lot of sense) ;D Then, watched Him finish the reduction through several more steps until he stood with an army of only 300 (only 300. !!!!) "in order that Israel may not boast against me that her own strength has saved her." And then, He showed Gideon that NO. ONE. wins on His mountain. He's the glorious, ever-victorious King.
These are fascinating stories, well worth the read!
Now, walk with me for a little bit into the Desert of Sinai. Three months ago to the day the huge throng of Israelites around us escaped Egypt by the mighty hand of God. Families around us are working hard to set up camp and settle into the surroundings for a few days on this exhausting, wandering journey. We overhear some children: "Hey, check out the mountain!! I bet I'd beat every single one of you in a race to the top!" "Haha! You couldn't even make it half-ways up that thing without collapsing and begging for a drink!" "I don't know why either one of you are talking such smack...we all know I'm the king-of-any-climb...I'd leave both of ya in the dust!" We can't help but smile at their banter...
A rumor begins to float around the camp that Moses has actually begun heading up the mountain to have some alone time with God and to receive some instruction from Him for the next leg of the journey. Sure enough, a messenger comes running to a nearby campsite and summons an elder of the people that is staying there and asks that he come immediately for a meeting with Moses. God has spoken, and a reply is needed from the people. I look at you, and you look at me. Yep, we're gonna go listen in! Moses is just beginning to speak and right away makes sure that all the leaders know that the message he is about to give is word-for-word exactly as God commanded it to be. "You yourselves have seen what I did to Egypt, and how I carried you on eagles' wings {I'm interrupting just for a minute. See? There are those eagle wings again! God loves taking us to the heights to rescue us and bring us to His side!} and brought you to myself. Now if you obey me fully and keep my covenant, then out of all nations you will be my treasured possession. Although the whole earth is mine, you will be for me a kingdom of priests and a holy nation." Moses asks the elders to relay this message to the people and get a response from them. No one they talk to can deny the supernatural escape they experienced leaving Egypt and definitely want that power on their side in the future!! A treasured possession?! Which means being always taken care of?!? Well, yes please! Of course we will obey! How could we make any other choice! The vote is unanimous and Moses has left the camp and is headed to the mountain where God dwells to relay the answer.
More messages come back with Moses...God has asked Moses to consecrate everyone in the camp. Everyone is also to wash their clothes. Everyone is to prepare themselves for a big event three days from now. NO ONE is allowed to go up the mountain until then, or even touch the base of it. Anyone who does, animals included, will. die. No exceptions. No second chances. In fact, they must be stoned or shot with an arrow because if they disobey they themselves cannot even be touched by another! ONLY when the ram's horn sounds a long blast can anyone go up to the mountain.
There is some confusion for a few minutes as to why all the rules?? until parents begin to frantically locate their children to sternly ask them to look them in the eye as they emphasize over and over the importance of obeying the rules. Men and women begin looking for everything they can possibly use to tie up animals in one spot so they don't go wandering off in the next three days. Moms and dads begin making their beds on opposite sides of the tents to ensure they don't get too cozy at night in response to the last rule. (sometimes I crack myself up)
No one sleeps real well on the last night. There are many conversations around campfires before people begin heading to their sleeping mats as to what might be taking place on the all-important day they are preparing themselves for. Many can't fall asleep because they can't turn off their imaginations. We awake to a deafening trumpet blast. Holding our hands over our ears doesn't seem to quiet it either. Thunder and lightening are filling the sky continuously, adding to the noise and sudden terror everyone is feeling. For once, everyone in the camp is so afraid they cannot even utter a single gasp or word. Children are crying, but with no noise. Just tears running down their cheeks. Adults are in tears too. Some manage to peek outside their tents and realize it's actually morning, but it doesn't appear as light outside because of a thick cloud that has settled over Mt. Sinai. Runners begin to run through camp. Moses is summoning every man, woman, and child to come with him to the foot of the mountain to meet with God. People are afraid to meet with this God, but are more afraid of disobeying and finding out the consequences, so they follow Moses to the mountain. By this time, the mountain was not only covered by the cloud, but by thick, black, billowing smoke. We find out later God had descended upon it in fire. We stand with all these Israelites at the foot of this mountain and we are all shaking uncontrollably. Feeling fear has reached new heights for all of us. We begin to realize though, that it's not just us that is shaking. The whole MOUNTAIN is shaking!!! The trumpet blast is getting louder and louder and L.O.U.D.E.R. It is all becoming too much to bear. Somehow though, amidst all the noise, we hear Moses speak. This God descends to the top of the mountain from where He dwells and calls Moses to the top of the mountain. How on earth can Moses have the nerve to ascend the mountain in such a terrifying scene?!? Before he leaves people are shouting at Moses to please continue being the messenger. That they please not have to talk to this terrifying God themselves!! That they would surely die if they did!! The whole crowd has slowly but surely moved backwards. We are standing at a distance now watching Moses approach the thick cloud where God is waiting...and when God has finished speaking, everyone in the camp is astounded and overwhelmed with the requirements of the law of this God.....*Exodus 19 *Exodus 20
Right before we awake from this dream of being in the desert, that could be called a nightmare, we are for a moment standing in the shadows at Golgotha gazing upon the disfigured person of a man called Jesus hanging on a cross. A man who in His death, is rumored to have brought life to all mankind. A man who is rumored to have saved all who confess Him as Lord. A man who ushered in a New Covenant and freed us all from the law set forth by God. And then, we find out the rumor is no longer a rumor, but the Truth, the Life, and the Way.
I've been awakened to God's call for me as His daughter to stop camping in the desert. To leave the desert camp and head confidently and boldly for His mountain. To rest in His presence. So He can raise me up.
"You have not come to a mountain that can be touched and that is burning with fire; to darkness, gloom and storm; to a trumpet blast or to such a voice speaking words that those who heard it begged that no further word be spoken to them, because they could not bear what was commanded: "If even an animal touches the mountain, it must be stoned." The sight was so terrifying that Moses said, "I am trembling with fear." But you have come to Mt. Zion, to the heavenly Jerusalem, the city of the living God!!!! You have come to thousands upon thousands of angels in JOYFUL assembly, the the church of the firstborn, whose names are written in heaven. You have come to God, the judge of all men, to the spirits of righteous men made perfect, to Jesus the mediator of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood that speaks a better word than the blood of Abel." *Hebrews 12:18-24
I'm smiling. :) What glorious news. :)
If you are worried about being able to make the trek up the mountain, please don't be. He's ok with small steps. He's ok with rests. *Psalm 23:2 His backpack is light. *Matthew 11:30 No need to be afraid of the height. Dwelling with Him up on the mountain isn't scary, it's simply clearer perspective up there. And before you know it, you'll be bounding up the side of the mountain like a deer. (Speaking of which, I'll be happy when I look more like a deer when I'm running...instead of a lumbering bear...)
Take a rest right now and reflect on these words from the godly Charles Spurgeon on reaching new heights:
Rouse thee, O believer, from thy low condition! Cast away thy sloth, thy lethargy, thy coldness, or whatever interferes with thy chaste and pure love to Christ, thy soul’s Husband. Make him the source, the centre, and the circumference of all thy soul’s range of delight. What enchants thee into such folly as to remain in a pit when thou mayst sit on a throne? Live not in the lowlands of bondage now that mountain liberty is conferred upon thee. Rest no longer satisfied with thy dwarfish attainments, but press forward to things more sublime and heavenly. Aspire to a higher, a nobler, a fuller life. Upward to heaven! Nearer to God!
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." *Hebrews 12: 1-3
Please throw off your weights and join me on the mountain?! I'll cheer you on and you can cheer me on right back! Let's rise above the pain, mundane, suffering, and hurts of this life by fellowshipping with Him on His mountain. Let's stand up and watch Him destroy the enemies before us in miraculous ways as He did for Gideon. Let's let Him stretch us and grow us on the mountaintop to glorify Himself. Fix your eyes on Jesus. He made the way for you to come to the mountain. It's not a dream. He's alive!!
I'll be seeing you around the mountain when I come. I'll be comin' around the mountain until He comes. (I might be holding onto the rope, but I'll still be comin'...) He'll be riding a white horse when He comes.
Jules
