Several years ago I was invited to a going away party. My friend was undergoing changes to her body because of breast cancer and we were invited to come walk along side of her and encourage her for an evening before she let go of the diseased part of her body through surgery. We were supposed to bring gifts that were the color yellow. Little rays of sunshine that would brighten her day(s) in the coming weeks.
I love yellow. It's my favorite color. Bright, cheerful, and such a happy color. What's not to love!?!? :)
I had so much fun putting my little package together. I so badly wanted everything to turn out well for my friend. For God to bring healing to her body through His touch and/or the medical staff caring for her. As I was thinking about what all I could give that would be uplifting and encouraging, one particular day my mind went to the story of the woman in the Bible who touched the hem of Jesus' garment and was healed. *Matt 9:20-22 *Mark 5:24-34 *Luke 8:43-47 I remembered that I had a pair of old yellow shorts that didn't fit anymore and were waiting to be put on a garage sale or into a Goodwill bin and had a (God!) idea come to me. I took my pair of scissors and cut off the hems of each leg hole. I kept one, and put the other one into her gift from me. I explained to her that I would be keeping one for myself to symbolically hold every time I prayed for her - trusting and believing God for healing for her just as the woman was healed when she touched the hem of Jesus' garment. The other one was for her to do the same thing with. I couldn't help it, I cried that night as I explained why I gave her a piece of fabric. God, in His goodness, brought healing to my friend. She is doing well today and I rejoice in that! I have never thrown away the hemline that I kept. It has become to me a powerful symbol as I pray for healing to come to friends and family that are suffering.
The woman I spoke of above - that physically was able to reach out and touch Jesus' cloak as he walked and was jostled and bumped around from the crowd of people around him - who had spent her money on doctor after doctor only to have her condition worsen - who in desperation brushed her fingertips against a piece of material worn by the only One who could save her - she had a happy ending too. Twelve years of suffering GONE in an instant. She realizes immediately that she has been healed within her body. And, not only was she healed, but the Healer spoke to her, encouraged her faith, and sent her off in peace - the sent her off in peace part being very significant to me because minutes earlier she had been absolutely terrified: I can only imagine her delight, her smile, her amazement, and her thought process as she realized she had been healed. But her thoughts get interrupted. She realizes that above the noise of the crowd Jesus is asking who touched Him?! She realizes that everyone around Him is of course denying it and also hears his disciples begin to try to reason with Him. "Master, it most likely was just someone bumping into you because of the amount of people around us. There are so many...could it not have been an accident?" (It's intriguing to imagine what was running through their heads when Jesus kept asking "Who?" ... :)) The question Jesus is asking is one that fills her with fear. I suppose one could speculate for various reasons why she may have been afraid? But, I personally believe it had to do with the fact that according to Jewish law she would have been labeled as unclean. *Leviticus 15:25 She would have spent years experiencing people move away from her in an attempt to remain clean themselves. Surely loneliness was part of her experience. Surely she feared the consequences of her actions when she touched this great man of God - whom we now know as the very Son of God. The Bible mentions that she finally realized she was not going to get away with not saying anything, so she comes forward in confession with heart pounding I'm sure. Feeling very exposed. (Possibly what I felt in my dreams last night...I dreamt I was in public and had forgotten to wear certain articles of clothing. Oh my word! Where does this stuff come from?!? Those - those are mortifying dreams I tell you!) She met not punishment nor disgrace, but GRACE and LOVE. How her heart and life must have been changed that day.
Stories like these are easier for me to step back from and say, "God, You are so powerful. You are good and You are able to heal in miraculous ways." Easier for me to step back and praise His name for healing answers to prayer. Lately, my heart has been hurting for a lot of people though. Friends and family that are dealing with painful and heart-wrenching loss(es). And while they know that God is still all-powerful and good and I know that God is still powerful and good - it's HARD and TOUGH to see the pain of loss happen in various circumstances in their lives. There is simply no formula in asking for God's healing that makes it always turn out the way we would like. I have posted about pain before and my heart has revisited the reality of it again lately.
I have come to the conclusion that it is necessary to CLING to Jesus and His hemline at all times. Reaching out for Him when we are in the midst of painful circumstances is a good thing. A necessary thing. A sustaining thing when we feel we c.a.n.n.o.t. go on. We have though, the opportunity through the Holy Spirit to be with Him at all times. I have come to this conclusion because I have decided deep down inside of me that Jesus wasn't joking nor mentioned it casually when He said, "Deny yourself, take up your cross daily and follow Me..." *Luke 9:23 And that when God's Word declares that if God is for us, NOTHING can be against us *Romans 8:31 and that God is perfection, *Matthew 5:48 I am choosing to believe it with every part of me. And that even though walking with Him may include loss and hurts that I may never understand the reasons for, that being with Him and living within His will is where I want to be - rather than living outside of His will pain-free. Will I most likely go kicking and screaming into His will at some points in my life? Well, yes. But may the roots of what I believe resound louder than the pain because anything apart from His will, is against His will and from the enemy - which scares me far more. If I get my own way, the consequences may be far more devastating than His perfect will.
Where will life take me? Even if I am clinging to an all-powerful, able-to-save-from-anything God? Maybe not all of these below, but most likely the majority of them:
Through high waters & fire. *Isaiah 43:2
Through the valley of the shadow of death. *Psalm 23:4
Through betrayal and separation. *Job 19:14 *Psalm 88:8,18 *Psalm 31:11 *Psalm 27:10
To exhaustion - whether it be from taking care of small children (I came close to believing that my children would NEVER exit the diapers-bottles-unable to communicate with words-stage. No joke.) or illness or physical labor or... *Isaiah 40:30
I have no doubts that you could help me keep on writing this list. Not an easy list. (What I do love about this list are His promises to be with us!)
With there being no tried and true formula to keep us from hardship and pain, how do we go about "doing life"? Except to hold onto the holy hemline that contains the power to do everything through Christ who strengthens you and I. *Philippians 4:13 To trust that He will keep us in His good and perfect will and will show us when we've chosen our own way. To trust His promises that He. is. with. us. (I could write numerous references pertaining to this, but for this time I'm going to challenge you to look for them. I know He'd love to show you!) To trust that He will lead us to green pastures and still waters *Psalm 23:2 even if the path to get there is not what we are asking for or even confoundedly confuses us.
It can be so hard at times to watch others go through painful circumstances. We wish to take it all away. We feel helpless. We watch and feel without the all-sufficient grace that I believe is offered to those directly experiencing the pain of their circumstances. What an abundant blessing though, to be able to pray on behalf of others. To share with God exactly how we're feeling about the difficulties we're going through or what others are going through.
"Then Jesus told His disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not (NOT) (NOT) (NOT) give up. He said: "In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared about men. And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, 'Grant me justice against my adversary.'
"For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, 'Even thought I don't fear God or care about men, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won't eventually wear me out with her coming!"
And the Lord said, "Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God bring about justice for His chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will He keep putting them off? I tell you, He will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on the earth?" *Luke 18:1-8
We as humans, we're pretty good at giving up on prayer. We give up on praying for others because we have enough worries of our own. We give up praying for our own circumstances because the answers aren't coming or the answers weren't what we wanted. We give up praying because we can be mighty impatient creatures. This is another list that I'm sure you could all help me make into a long one, but I think you get my point...
The truth is that His timing is not our timing. The truth is that at times He will wow us with His quick response, and at other times His timing requires waiting - or possibly us not even seeing the answers to our prayers within our lifetime. But it is important to keep praying. I have had times when I've been too exhausted to pray anymore. Too angry to know exactly what to say, etc. Consider this wonderful promise when we are at this point: *Romans 8:26-27 "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And He who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God's people in accordance with the will of God." I find this amazingly comforting, amazingly encouraging because we are prayed for within the will of God, (!!) and makes me amazingly grateful to my God. Not to be used as an excuse not to pray, but definitely a wonderful promise to trust in when we are at the end of ourselves. What does your prayer life look like on behalf of others? On behalf of your own circumstances? I'll be doing a reality check on myself if you'd like to join me in doing one on yourself. Prayer is too powerful to leave behind. Can I also challenge you to intentionally pray for someone when you say that are going to? The phrase "you have my prayers" can be comforting to others, but how easy it can be not to follow through. It is encouraging to me, and I'm sure to you, when you hear that from someone that you KNOW will be lifting you up to the throne of grace. I want to be that someone.
"pray continually," *I Thessalonians 5:17 The challenge is laid out before us with those two simple words. Because I believe God is continually with me, I have come to the place where I talk to Him a lot throughout my day. Even if it's just one sentence at a time! I'm so thankful He is there. Honestly, my prayers haven't always changed my circumstances but they have at times changed ME and my attitude - a blessing in disguise:
The following is a quote that won't apply to all times of difficulty but I share it to encourage those to whom it does or will apply. Years ago I went through a difficult time of God "pruning" my life. Clippers are painful, I ain't gonna lie! (Hahaha - the computer says ain't isn't a word...) I LOVE the fact that I am surrounded with fellow brothers and sisters in Christ that are willing to help me through difficult times - I can't stress that enough. But for this particular time in my life I had no doubts that God had asked me to walk this particular path alone and to rely on Him alone as far as sharing it with anyone else. As painful as this time was, I can look back on it with much gratitude. During this time I ran across a quote in Jan Dravecky's book entitled "A Joy I'd Never Known". She wrote of how she had been reading the seventeenth-century writings of Fenelon during a time of difficulty in her life. His letters were written to encourage Christians being persecuted for their faith in the court of Louis XIV. In letter 10 he wrote these words: "Though it sounds strange to say it, I'm rejoicing that God has reduced you to a state of weakness. Your ego can neither be convinced or forced into submission by any other means. It is always finding secret lines of supply from your courage. It is always finding impenetrable retreats in your own cleverness. It was hidden from your eyes while it fed upon the subtle poison of an apparent generosity, as you constantly sacrificed yourself for others. But now God has forced it to cry aloud; To come forth into open day and display its excessive jealousy. Oh, how painful but how beneficial are these times of weakness." You know how there are times when you read something the second, third, or fourth time and it sinks in in a new and profound way? I had read this book years before and now was flipping through it years later during this difficult time in my life. It jumped out at me as I flipped - and I cried. I cried because I saw God in my difficult circumstance and the truth that my pain was bringing forth the fruit of relying fully on Him and not on myself (Oh, how He loves to have us resting and relying on Him 110%...I say that with tears in my eyes because I know the process is not easy. Nuf' said.) in a very real way. Pain and loss releases an intimacy with God and a true reliance on God that can be lacking during peaceful and happy times. He just may be teaching you that are relying more on yourself and your own strength than what you think you are. If that is you, don't be afraid. Be bold and courageous enough to let your eyes be opened and your heart set free. It's one of the most healing things I've ever experienced.
I recently downloaded C.S. Lewis' book "The Problem of Pain". As I feel surrounded by hurting people, I guess I found myself longing to understand pain just a little more, and the role it plays in the Christian walk. It is inevitable. I want to be able to bring hope and encouragement to those who walk in pain.
Hold on tight to that Holy Hemline. Grasp it with a grip that resolves not to let go. There is SO much power there and there is room for everyone to have a place to hold onto. Pray continually. There is SO much power there. In speaking honestly to God. In relying on the Holy Spirit to speak on our behalf when we are speechless. In trusting and relying on Him 110%. In asking for healing and mercy and that He would take our pain away. And in the end, asking that His will be done. So much power.
There have been many times where I have ended my cries for help for myself or others with: "To You who are able to do more than I could ever ask or imagine, I thank You for hearing my prayers. And if the results don't come as quickly as I might like them to or if the answers aren't what I wanted them to be, I trust Your will and believe that You are still working..." Some days it requires more faith to say these words, but it does remind me where I want my focus to be.
If you look into the future and it looks exhausting, daunting, or overwhelming - if I can pray for you, let me know. I also am grateful in knowing that many of you would be willing to pray for me as well! "Let us pray for each other, not faint by the way - in this sad world of sorrow and pain..." I pray that in His time He turns your wailing into dancing - removes your sackcloth - and clothes you with joy in it's place. *Psalm 30:11
My favorite verse is *Romans 12:12: "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Today, it seems to sum up what I've wanted to communicate in this post.
Hugs [xx] to you and yours, (or maybe I should say: a one-armed hug to you while I use my other arm to grasp that hemline...)
Jules
