You know what my response was? "God, what. are. You. doing.?!?! What are You allowing these circumstances for?!?" My heart hurt for my friends. Although none of it happened to me, it was a lot of hard news in one day. I look at Job and I think, "How did he do it? How does a man lose everything he HAS in one day and in response drop to his knees and worship...." *Job 1:20-22 I mean, who does that!? The Bible says not once through the devastation did Job sin by blaming God. I'd like to think that I would have a similar response, but honestly, I don't know.....
Who does that? One who is anchored in the Truth. Who walks close to the Truth. "This man was blameless and upright; he feared God and shunned evil." *Job 1:1 One who is like a tree PLANTED by streams of living water. *Psalm 1 THE Living Water. I want to be that tree. (I guess that means I'm "going green"?) ;) I may, or may not respond well when the day of devastation comes, but I have been through difficult times in my life and I can say from the bottom of my heart that I am grateful for those times. For the grace given to me from Him in those times. They have molded me, transformed me, and given me perspective that I never would have learned in times of prosperity and easy circumstances. One example; as a teenager I experienced some hard emotional and physical health issues . It was during my senior year in high school. I was not impressed. I loved life, and suddenly felt like the life was sucked out of me. I felt like I was missing out on one of the best years of my life. I had never heard of depression or anxiety, let alone how difficult they could be to walk through and heal from. The healing didn't come quickly either. A defining moment for me was during one of my lowest times when my brother (a man of few words) ;) approached me in our living room and said that he was sorry for what I was going through, that he wasn't always sure how to help, but that he loved me and his hope and prayer was for me to experience joy and healing double-fold for the pain, as Job did. (I'm very aware my pain was pale in comparison to Job's loss, but the analogy is what he was looking for) It makes me teary-eyed to think of his words even now. You know what? Twenty two years later, and more and different trials later, I realize God has answered that prayer. Not as human hearts and minds would first think of in terms of blessings, but in the blessing of greater compassion for others that comes from trials. In greater patience in believing in God's sovereignty and timing. In greater humility in my heart that comes from trials. In greater grace that one experiences through trial. In greater hope and longing for a perfect, eternal home being prepared for those who love Him because we realize we are only here for a moment and our present sufferings are not worthy to be compared to the joy set before us when we will see Him face to face. In greater quiet trust and hope that knows that God will be faithful again in the future. In greater peace because He has proved He does not leave me or forsake me during the hard stuff of life. Because in my darkest of times, He has felt closer to me than ever before. In all my questions and confusion, He really has been an ever-present help. *Psalm 46:1
In my trials I have had to make crossroad choices. Do I trust God? Do I believe that He hears me? Do I believe He is still there when I only feel silence? Do I believe He is who He says He is when pain and suffering are allowed in my life, in the life of my loved ones, and in the world? Or, am I in anger and pain and confusion going to walk away from Him? It's a difficult thing when we are hit hard with the fact that being a follower of Jesus, a believer in the Almighty God, does not exempt us nor protect us from pain. There is no formula to doing or being or believing enough to where we are protected from hard times. It can be a hard, wrestle down the throat pill to swallow. (Actually, that makes me want to go get a drink. I don't like dry things stuck in my throat and that mental picture makes me want to swallow a few extra times right now) *rabbit trail*
Back to the subject:
When Jesus walked on this earth people heard some hard things come out of His mouth. Things that brought them to a crossroads. Do I believe and put my faith in Him as the Messiah? Or, do I walk away.....
This crossroad really isn't a bad place to find yourself. It makes us choose between hot and cold and steers us clear of luke-warmness. (luke-warmness = NOT a good place to find yourself) *Revelation 3:16
In John 6 many of Jesus' disciples came to the crossroad. Their difficulty was not in suffering and trials in this event, but in believing that Jesus was who He said He was. His words pierced. His words defied the religious laws. His words were outrageous to many. His words dealt with the heart. His words said He was God in the flesh. Most people loved the miracles. (I can't blame them, really. I have longed for and asked for and would have loved me some miracles to take pain away.) But, it was His words on this particular day that drove many away. They had The Truth right before their eyes and they walked away. Heartbreaking. He watches them walk away and then Jesus turns to His twelve and asks the crossroads question: Where do you stand? Are you walking away now, too? *John 6:67 They knew and believed by this time that Jesus was the Messiah. I love how Peter answered Him by saying that they really HAD nowhere else to go. For He had the words of eternal life. *John 6:68-69 The disciples that deserted Him wrestled with what so many have wrestled with in painful suffering. What I have wrestled with. And out of the wrestling for me, came the need to decide who I was going to believe God was. Jesus in *Luke 9:18-20 asks His disciples first: "Who do the crowds say I am?" (and boy, would we have a smorgasboard of answers in this day and age!!!) and second: "But, what about you? Who do you say that I am?" SUCH. AN. IMPORTANT. QUESTION. FOR. US. Because you see, the answer to the question explains much about how we are able to deal with - and handle - and live through - and respond to - suffering and pain. In a world that states that only the strong survive we must decide who will be our strength. We were not created to be strong in our own strength. To bear up and survive life on our own. "Praise be to the Lord; to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens." Selah *Psalm 68:19
I really like Habakkuk. I've never met him, but I'm looking forward to talking with him. (And, his name has so many different ways that it could be pronounced, it's just fun to practice saying what all they could be! Although, he just might have been one of those kids who wonders what mom and dad were thinking when they came up with that name?!? It's a pretty unique one.) *rabbit trail* Habakkuk gives voice to the "God, You don't make sense!" statements and questions in our life. Plus, his journey to surrender to the sovereignty of God is challenging and enlightening. The very first words he speaks in the book of Habakkuk carry a lot of questioning emotion: "How long, O Lord, must I call for help, but you do not listen? Or cry out to you, "Violence!!" but you do not save?!?" *Habakkuk 1:2-4 <---these verses hold his questions to God if you want to read all of them. I feel for the guy. I've been there. And the kicker? God's response. He proceeds to tell Him that the future of Judah does not lie in peace and victory, but looks ahead to it's destruction by the evil Babylonians. If I was Habbakuk I might very well be sorry I asked. Shew-ee. Habakkuk has more questions. What?!? You are using evil to overtake those more righteous?!? (Albeit, not that much more righteous) Do you not hate evil?!? You do not tolerate wrong! Why do the wicked prosper so?!? There. He said it. What was screaming from his heart that longed for justice. He then says, "Now I wait. Now I see what answer God is going to give to THAT compaint." *Habakkuk 1:12-17 And, he hears. He hears from a God who does love justice. A God who promises to chasten His people, (Judah) but then promises to bring destruction upon their oppressors. A God who proves that He does see wickedness, and that in the end, wickedness and those who revel in it are doomed. *Habakkuk 2: 2-20 He tells Habakkuk, "For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay." *Hab. 2:3 We're not good at waiting. But Habakkuk, in the waiting and the listening, came to the reality that pain is real, but God is Sovereign. The reality that God works everything for our good. *Romans 8:28 Habakkuk's waiting and listening end in a beautiful prayer of surrender and reverence for God. *Hab. 3 It's awesome. I'll come back to it. Eight years later, Judah falls to the Babylonians. Fifty eight years later, the mighty Babylonians fall. Sixty six years after God told Habakkuk to wait for it. That's a lot of waiting. "But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will." *Romans 8:25-27 Such a beautiful picture. When we don't know how else to ask or have no more words, His Spirit is standing in the gap.
I really like King David. Yep, looking forward to chatting with him too. The man after God's own heart also gives voice to the emotional ups and down of life in the Psalms. *Psalm 73 is a similar picture to Habakkuk's "coming around" and surrendering to God's sovereignty. This particular chapter is actually a psalm of Asaph, not David. I personally don't know Asaph's actual title, (if you do, let me know!) but it is obvious he worked closely with David. *I Chronicles 16:7 & 37 *I Chronicles 25:1 He begins the chapter by sharing that He'd almost lost his way. Had almost slipped and fallen from the narrow way. Had spent some time envying the wicked and the prosperity of the wicked. Had been angry that it seemed they went unpunished and escaped harm while he in vain kept his heart pure and experienced hardships daily. He gives voice to the questions. He came to the crossroad. "When I tried to understand all this, it was oppressive to me till I entered the sanctuary of God; then I understood their final destiny." *Psalm 73:16-17 (Dwelling with God brings so much clarity) He ends knowing and admitting that their destruction is sure and coming. He realized that to question God in anger and bitterness is senseless and ignorant. *Ps. 73:21-22 He answers much in the same way that Peter did. Where many of us in pain find ourselves: I don't like this pain. I dislike this suffering. I'm wondering if You really are a good God. If You really are who You say You are. But, in reality you are the Way and the Truth and the Life. I HAVE nowhere else to go. "Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you." *Ps. 73:25
Who do I say that He is?
I say You are faithful even when we are faithless because You cannot disown Yourself. (a wonderful promise) *II Timothy 2:13
I say Your ways are so much higher than ours in sovereignty that we don't always have to know the answers. *Isaiah 55:9
I say You are close to the brokenhearted and You do save those who are crushed in spirit. *Psalm 34:18
I say You DO see trouble and grief. That you are our helper. *Psalm 10:14
I say You will never leave me nor forsake me. You are Jehovah-Shammah, the God who is there. *Hebrews 13:5-6 An ever present help in times of trouble. *Psalm 46:1
I say You are power. I say Your power is made perfect in my weakness. I say Your grace is sufficient to provide. You are Jehovah-Jireh, my provider. *II Corinthians 12:9
I say You give a new song. A song of gratitude in the midst of pain. *Psalm 40:3
I say You are a strong tower. The righteous run to You and are safe. *Proverbs 18:10
I say You are the father of compassion and the God of all comfort. *II Corinthians 1:3
I say You are a refuge and our strength. Psalm 46:1
I say You are greatness, power, glory, majesty, and splendor. You are exalted above all. *I Chronicles 29:11
I say Your yoke is easy and Your burden is light. That You are gentle.That my soul finds rest in You. *Matthew 11:29-30
I say that Your word is lamp to my feet and a light to my path. *Psalm 119:105
I say that neither death nor life, angels nor demons, the nor the future, any power, height nor depth, persecution, famine, nakedness, danger or sword, can ever separate me from Your love. You are love. *Romans 8:35-38
I say these are few in listing who God is. But they are the start to my foundation that anchors me in times of trouble. I say I don't want to just know these in my head, but I want to believe them in my heart.
I say above all that You have won the victory. That You have overcome the world. And, that You WILL bring justice in the end. That You WILL right all wrongs. *Psalm 45:6 *Revelation 19:2a That You are perfectly just. That You will wipe every tear. That You will conquer death, mourning, crying, and pain. *Revelation 21:4 I love that. I heart that.
Just this past week I realized that this season in my life has been marked by good times. No major troubles or suffering. I rejoice in that. I say You are a good God. "When times are good, BE HAPPY. But, when times are bad, consider; God has made the one as well as the other." *Ecclesiastes 7:14 But, I also say that there will most likely be more hard times that come. When they do, may I hold tight to what I know. What a blessing it would be if it would be said of me at my life's end: She knew God. And because she knew God and dwelt with Him, she lived richly. Even in the pain, she did not walk away.
Habakkuk's prayer. You need to read it sometime. The most beautiful part for me is to see his surrender. "Yet I will wait patiently...Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The sovereign Lord is my strength; He makes my feet like the feet of a deer, He enables me to stand on the heights." *Habukkuk 3:16-19
As much as I do thank God for what the painful times in my life have taught me, and the closeness I have shared with Him in them, I have never asked or begged God for more trials. I can't say that I ever will. :) As surely as they will come without my asking for them, because of what I believe and say to be true of God, I can live free from worry about the future. *Matthew 26:25-34 Whether I experience pain from chastisement, to teach me something new, or simply because we live in a fallen and sinful world, I am thankful that He is able. And that if the answers to my prayers come slowly or are not answered in the way that I would like, I rest knowing that He who is able to do more than I could ask or imagine is still working. That His timing will reign, will certainly come, and will not delay. *Habakkuk 2:3 That is all I need to know.
It's an important question: Who do you say that He is?
I pray you stay. I pray you don't walk away.
I'm sorry for your pain, whatever it may be. May He lift you up and give you the strength to make it through today.
Jules
p.s. I also say that I'm a
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