I already checked. My pants are not on fire.
I commented in my last blog post that my next one would be my journey to hearing the voice of God. I fully intend to spend time writing that this weekend, (to all you liar, liar - name callers out there) :) but I took a little detour today and feel it needs to be shared, if only for my own good to remember some day...
Thanksgiving is my favorite and I do mean FAVORITE holiday. I've loved it since I was little girl. I had something happen to me this morning that I'm not used to when I wake up on Thanksgiving morning. I woke up with a heavy heart. I'm usually a glass-half-full kinda gal. (at least I think I am? Others may not perceive it that way...) I also had a difficult time keeping from biting my family's heads off this morning out of a hurting heart.
My mother's twin brother is currently being cared for by hospice and most likely only has several weeks to live. In all reality this will be his last Thanksgiving on planet earth. My heart ached this morning both for my mom, and for my aunt and cousins who are facing a future minus a husband and father. My witty, jolly uncle whom my mom has been especially close to in the last several years.
My heart ached this morning that my mom and dad had a Thanksgiving by themselves for the first time in a long time. (They did not request a pity party. I'm not asking anyone to feel guilty for not having them or to feel sorry for them. Okie-dokie? Just a daughter's feelings):)
My mind went to a dinner we were at last week to benefit The Crossing. An AWESOME organization that is changing the lives of troubled school-age teens that have no other hope but drugs, gangs, prison, etc. in their future. What a blessing to see and hear the testimonies of the lives that have been changed. I loved it. But, there were also reminders of the truth that there are many, many more who do not have a home to go to or any sort of family structure to depend on. Many I'm sure who woke up this Thanksgiving morning with bitterness and sarcasm in their hearts when they attempt to think of something to be thankful for. My heart hurt for them.
I headed out to the garage to grab a bag of peas for the dish I was making and was reminded of my neighbor lady and her family who are spending as many weekends as possible with her parents as of late since her father has been diagnosed with cancer. My heart hurt for them.
I attempted to chasten myself out of my mood, but with the glance over to the neighbor's house the tears finally spilled out. You know what? It felt good to cry. I suddenly realized that I felt His hand on my shoulder (not literally, but in His gentle presence that I have come to recognize and thrive on) in recognition that it really is ok to cry on Thanksgiving. To weep with those that weep. To just simply admit that life is not always fair. There is a verse in Proverbs that came to my mind. *Proverbs 14:13 "Even in laughter the heart may ache, and joy may end in grief." I found laughter today. In my kids' giggles. In my husband and daughter making fun of my bed head. (Wasn't as funny for me) :P In my cousin-in-law scaring the ba-jeebers out of me when we arrived at Ed's aunt and uncle's house. (There is a bathroom with a window along the side porch into their house. He was in there and shoved the window up with a loud, rawr-ing, growly sound right when I walked by. Almost dropped the cheesecake I was carrying. Paybacks are brutal I tell ya. He better be watching his back...) In the stories that were shared around the table and across the yard at a special 98 year-old lady's house. But, in the midst of the laughter my heart did ache today. It hasn't at every Thanksgiving, nor will it at every Thanksgiving in the future most likely but today was a time to weep for me. It was also a time to laugh. I wonder if when the author of Ecclesiastes wrote chapter three he intended for them to be viewed as separate times? Cause today, two of them collided for me. And it was ok. I found much to be grateful for in the midst of both. (Which, isn't that some of what the first Thanksgiving was all about? Gratitude in the midst of some difficult times?!? Speaking of which, while I was getting ready this morning I decided I would definitely have been one of the "pale faces" at the first Thanksgiving. It's not even December yet, and I'm definitely feeling the summer tan fading away already...*rabbit trail*)
*Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under Heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill (don't be thinking it's ok to murder someone. not what that means!) and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
I'm wondering what kind of a day it was for you? What kind of "a time"? Or, if like me you had some "time"s collide?
Today I'm thankful for tears. For tears that help to wash the pain of life away. He did remind me today that His grace is sufficient for those that I am hurting for. *II Corinthians 12:9 That He is close to the broken-hearted. *Psalm 34:18 That He daily is bearing their burdens. *Psalm 68:19 Thank you God that you are omnipresent. *Psalm 46:1 That You are with those that I can't be with in person today. That You are full of hugs in the midst of life. There IS always something to be grateful for in every season, in every "time". Continue opening my eyes to them, God.
My neighbor lady that I mentioned above - I'm so thankful for my neighbors - sent me this text yesterday:
Thanks...I haven't been looking forward to it [Thanksgiving] out of fear of it being the last [for her father]. Then I decided I better be thankful that we can gather, and future Thanksgivings will be what they will be. No need to not love this one because next year might be different. All the next years might have been different all along.
I just so LOVE that. What healthy perspective.
Happy Thanksgiving to you all!! xoxo
It's ok to cry on Thanksgiving,
Jules
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Monday, November 12, 2012
Look Straight [into His face]
This past week I was bagging my own groceries in the self-checkout lane at the grocery store. (Thankful #1: I can go to the grocery store and buy food.) About those self-checkout lanes, sometimes (well, technically almost every time I use them) I think a person should get a discount just for using that lane. By the time you finally get everything out of your cart and scanned between the orders to: [get your unknown item off the belt] [wait for the clerk in charge to come turn off your blinking red light because your next item was unreadable] [please wait for assistance because your next item won't scan at all] [your coupon won't scan, please wait for assistance] you now have the person behind you starting to cross their arms and tap their toe a little. You quickly pay for your items and start bagging. Before you can finish bagging, the person behind you in line now starts scanning their items before you have time to put the divider up between the two orders and now the two purchases are mixing. Yes, all that hard work deserves a customer discount! :) Right off the bat I have changed the subject... (Thankful #2: I am a woman and I know how to spin a web with my thoughts.)
I'm bagging my groceries and I hear a lady saying to my right, "Ohhh, I love your necklace!" I turned to thank her, tell her it was a good deal, (of course one MUST mention that fact) and where I bought it if she asked. When I finished turning she was right beside me. Like, RIGHT beside me. I started to say thank you but she looked straight into my eyes and interrupted me. "Ohhh, and so pretty too..." Honestly, I tried to say thank you again but she just gave me a smile and continued walking. I heard her about 30 sec. later at the next checkout lane cooing over a cute baby, (that I myself had cooed over in aisle 13 or so) a very, very cute baby. I didn't watch where she went from there, I'm figuring the restroom, but it wasn't more than a few minutes later that she was to my far right again encouraging the clerk in charge of all the self-checkout lanes. I couldn't help but smile as I watched her at work again, so not in a hurry with life, making people genuinely smile. She looked to be in her 70's. Dressed to the nines with a fancy leopard print hat to boot. (Thankful #3: For clothing to wear. Clothing that keeps me warm. Clothing that makes me smile because it's "just so cute." I like clothing.) She radiated joy. When she was done talking with the clerk she walked out of the store, nothing in hand. You know what my first thought was? "I'd believe it if someone told me I had just entertained talking with an angel." *Hebrews 13:2 It was the peace and joy I saw written all over her face. It was the way she looked straight into my eyes and said with so much sincerity the words she spoke. No fluff. Just sincere words.
Sometimes, I imagine. I imagine what it would have been like to live and walk on this earth during the few years that Jesus was here in the flesh. To listen to the authority that radiated from His voice. To be one that felt His hands reach out and touch my blind eyes. To open my eyes and realize I can see! To open my eyes only to look full into His wonderful face. To see the love and compassion laced with His authority in His eyes. Oh. My. Word. How would that have been... It seems like you wouldn't be able to look away... That you wouldn't be able to feel anything but confidence in the fact that His love and compassion were for YOU. To understand what it is to be loved first. To be loved first before you hear the words, "Your faith has healed you. Go. And sin no more." (Thankful #4: That He loved me first. That while I was yet a sinner, He died for me.) To be one of those that recognized the authority in His eyes, and because of that recognition you would have no other fleshly choice but to fall at His feet and worship. Yep, while the Pharisees and teachers of the law look on in all of their self-righteous, arm-crossing, scrutinizing, judgemental selves, thinking, "Just who does this man think He is demanding and creating worshipers of HIM-self?" while they miss the joy and tears of the one set free because of the hardness of their own hearts. Or, to maybe have been one of the ones at the back of the crowd who was curious. Who didn't really want to be seen at a place where He was because of what someone else might think. But I go anyways because something within me thinks "What if there IS more?" "What if the downward spiral I've been living in isn't my only choice?" "What if I am of greater worth than what others have been telling me I am worthy of?" And while I'm trying to stay in the background and in the shadows, He sees me. I try to quickly avert my eyes and step behind the person in front of me but His gaze is so quick, so intense, I cannot help but stare back at Him because I see hope there for me. I see the same love and compassion and authority that surely the healed saw when they opened their eyes. And God, in the miraculous way only He can work, allows a person to feel as if they've stared into the eyes of Jesus for an hour rather than a few moments before He looks to the next person. Or, I wonder how it would have been to be one of those that could not bring yourself to believe He was who He said He was, only to witness and experience the events that occurred right after His last breath. To have your eyes opened by the earthshaking, powerful, and terrifying events. To whisper to yourself, "Surely. Surely this man WAS the Son of God. I believe." Ohhhhhhh, so much fun to dream and wonder what it would have been like. I can't blame you Joseph, for being a dreamer. :) (Thankful #5: That He has given us the real-life accounts of believers gone before us.)
Us today? We live by faith, and not by sight. *2 Corinthians 5:7 Someday, we WILL ALL see Him face to face. We will. The unbelieving and the believing. We will give an account. *2 Corinthians 5:10 *Romans 14:11 *Isaiah 45:22-24 I do not remind you of this to make you afraid. To some, it should make them afraid, but this time that isn't my point. I want you to think about how much you have taken/take the time to seek His face while in this mortal body of yours. How much have you sought His face in the little things? How much have you sought His face in the big things? How much time have you spent seeking Him for your path? *Psalm 27:8 And I mean every single step for your paths?
We have so much calling out to us in the here and now. So much. Other's opinions of how we should live. Other's agendas for how we should live. I'm not suggesting we forever reject the "other's" for fear of following them and not Jesus. I'm suggesting that we don't do enough seeking of His face for US. We go by hearsay of who He is by reading other people's books and blogs about Him without balancing out those things with our own time in His Word. We go by hearsay in the speakers and preachers that we listen to about Him without balancing out those things with our own time in His Word. Without sitting quietly before Him and communicating with Him and asking Him to show us the way. And, the next thing we know we've followed someone else rather than God. Someone else has become our god. I have said it before in this blog - I don't have anything against reading and listening to words from other godly Christians. I don't. But, when you and I spend more time reading and listening to the "other's" than we put forth the time and attention to keep up our own relationship with Him we risk an unhealthy balance. Like, bad junk food kind of unhealthy. It's tempting, but unhealthy. If you're feeling some toe stompin', believe me, I've been there and I do not look down on you. And, if you are still learning how to fellowship with Him, still learning how to seek His face, still learning how to hear His voice, (my next blogpost will be me sharing my own journey to learning to hear His voice - I hope you find it helpful and encouraging) PLEASE do not lose heart. It's a journey. A worthwhile journey. Just remember to prioritize.
Until we see Him face to face He has promised to surround us as with a shield. *Psalm 5:11-12 In *Psalm 73:23-25 there is a beautiful picture of Him walking beside us. Of Him going before us and guiding us with His counsel. In *Psalm 139:5 He hems us in behind and before and His hand is upon us. In *Isaiah 41:10 He upholds us. Oh my lands, what comforting words and precious promises. Stand up my friend, put on your armor, and be confident. He's got you surrounded and covered from top to bottom. HALLELUJAH! And, yee-haw! :) But even now, I also long for more of those moments when He turns around. When it takes your breath away as He looks you right in the eyes. And even more so I long for when I see - when I SEE Him face to face. When everything will be made right. When I look into His eyes and I see the love and authority and I fall down and worship. *Sigh* Can He just come like right now??... (Thankful #6: He surrounds and covers me.)
When others look into my eyes I wonder what they see? Please Jesus, let them see YOU. Let me decrease and You increase. Plleeeeeaaaaasssseeee??
I want to introduce you to Robert. I love his testimony. I have never met Robert but I so look forward to shaking his hand at least one time in eternity. Robert is in Heaven and now looks upon Jesus' face. *a little jealous over here* Robert was the grandfather of a good friend of mine. (I'm starting to say "Robert" too much. Like in the movie "Titanic" where Jack and Rose are constantly yelling each other's name. I think I'll switch to third person narrative.) He worked as a janitor. A janitor at the University of Iowa Hospital and Clinic. When it came time for family and friends to come together to celebrate his life and mourn his death, there was a very large group of them that did. A janitor with a large attendance at his funeral?! Why? A man who spent hours cleaning up after people. A man who spent hours fixing things around the school so that others could learn and work towards their careers and goals. A janitor who had a large attendance at his funeral not because of his career, but because people looked at him and saw Jesus. I have no doubts others saw Jesus because of the the quality time he spent seeking the face of Jesus first and foremost before he did his job. One day, Robert will stand before the judgement throne of God, look into the face of His Creator, Lord, and Master, and will hear "well done, good and faithful servant." But, can you also hear the Father say: "I was a stranger and you invited me in, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me, I was..." *Matthew 25:34-36 to which Robert replies "but my King and Master, I never stepped foot in a prison...my wife and I always knew who was staying in our home...I was never a doctor myself, I only worked at the college hospital as a janitor..." [Disclaimer: I have no idea if he did or didn't, it's the concept I want to emphasize. End of Disclaimer] And then, the testimonies from college students and staff from the U of Iowa begin to be heard: "You helped me to recognize I was imprisoned by my bitterness and hate towards my friend." "You were kind to me when no one else was." "You helped me to recognize my pride by showing me a humble, serving attitude." "You encouraged me when I was heart-sick and gave me some hope." "You helped me pray to repent of my sins and confess Jesus as Lord." "You recognized my faith was dying and you revived me with the love of God." "You..."
And I will say, "I was greatly blessed by your testimony." My friend's grandfather bloomed where he was planted. I want to do it too. I pray you'll do it too. How?
"Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full, in His wonderful face. And the things of earth will grow strangely dim...in the light of His glory and grace."
Look at Him. Let Him heal your hurts. Let Him tell you that you are beautiful and precious in His sight. (Or handsome for you men that don't want to be called beautiful...) Let Him bring you peace that passes all understanding in the midst of your crazy circumstances. Let Him be your enough in your mundane and difficult circumstances that seem to have no end...Let Him...Let Him... And, also, let Him pierce your heart and convict you of sin. Just a personal experience: Since beginning this blog (after dragging my feet to do so), I have had more times than I care to admit where I have told Him and myself that I'm not sure but that I'm done with it for now. That the nerves that I encounter in being vulnerable, added to the worry that I may misrepresent Him are enough to make me say that it's not for me. I've been concerned that I will run out of things to write about. Just this past week within a matter of a couple of days I felt Him breathe into me titles to use on this blog. Not just one or two, but seventeen. Yeah, seventeen. That should keep me busy for awhile. At the top of one of my notebook pages I wrote "I repent of being worried and fearful that I'll run out of things to say." Would I in my own strength confide, yes, I would be losing. But, He doesn't abandon us or run out of things to say. If God is for us, who can stand against us? *Romans 8:31 It's not about me, it's about Him. I pray you'll see HIM.
It's almost Thanksgiving. I love Thanksgiving. It's my favorite holiday. (Thankful #7: for His face.) (Thankful #8: for YOU!)
This face is a little bleary-eyed from staying up so late to type this. I'm going to bed, but if you look me in the eyes tomorrow I may have dark circles under them. Don't judge me, just smile and wave...just smile and wave...
Jules
I'm bagging my groceries and I hear a lady saying to my right, "Ohhh, I love your necklace!" I turned to thank her, tell her it was a good deal, (of course one MUST mention that fact) and where I bought it if she asked. When I finished turning she was right beside me. Like, RIGHT beside me. I started to say thank you but she looked straight into my eyes and interrupted me. "Ohhh, and so pretty too..." Honestly, I tried to say thank you again but she just gave me a smile and continued walking. I heard her about 30 sec. later at the next checkout lane cooing over a cute baby, (that I myself had cooed over in aisle 13 or so) a very, very cute baby. I didn't watch where she went from there, I'm figuring the restroom, but it wasn't more than a few minutes later that she was to my far right again encouraging the clerk in charge of all the self-checkout lanes. I couldn't help but smile as I watched her at work again, so not in a hurry with life, making people genuinely smile. She looked to be in her 70's. Dressed to the nines with a fancy leopard print hat to boot. (Thankful #3: For clothing to wear. Clothing that keeps me warm. Clothing that makes me smile because it's "just so cute." I like clothing.) She radiated joy. When she was done talking with the clerk she walked out of the store, nothing in hand. You know what my first thought was? "I'd believe it if someone told me I had just entertained talking with an angel." *Hebrews 13:2 It was the peace and joy I saw written all over her face. It was the way she looked straight into my eyes and said with so much sincerity the words she spoke. No fluff. Just sincere words.
Sometimes, I imagine. I imagine what it would have been like to live and walk on this earth during the few years that Jesus was here in the flesh. To listen to the authority that radiated from His voice. To be one that felt His hands reach out and touch my blind eyes. To open my eyes and realize I can see! To open my eyes only to look full into His wonderful face. To see the love and compassion laced with His authority in His eyes. Oh. My. Word. How would that have been... It seems like you wouldn't be able to look away... That you wouldn't be able to feel anything but confidence in the fact that His love and compassion were for YOU. To understand what it is to be loved first. To be loved first before you hear the words, "Your faith has healed you. Go. And sin no more." (Thankful #4: That He loved me first. That while I was yet a sinner, He died for me.) To be one of those that recognized the authority in His eyes, and because of that recognition you would have no other fleshly choice but to fall at His feet and worship. Yep, while the Pharisees and teachers of the law look on in all of their self-righteous, arm-crossing, scrutinizing, judgemental selves, thinking, "Just who does this man think He is demanding and creating worshipers of HIM-self?" while they miss the joy and tears of the one set free because of the hardness of their own hearts. Or, to maybe have been one of the ones at the back of the crowd who was curious. Who didn't really want to be seen at a place where He was because of what someone else might think. But I go anyways because something within me thinks "What if there IS more?" "What if the downward spiral I've been living in isn't my only choice?" "What if I am of greater worth than what others have been telling me I am worthy of?" And while I'm trying to stay in the background and in the shadows, He sees me. I try to quickly avert my eyes and step behind the person in front of me but His gaze is so quick, so intense, I cannot help but stare back at Him because I see hope there for me. I see the same love and compassion and authority that surely the healed saw when they opened their eyes. And God, in the miraculous way only He can work, allows a person to feel as if they've stared into the eyes of Jesus for an hour rather than a few moments before He looks to the next person. Or, I wonder how it would have been to be one of those that could not bring yourself to believe He was who He said He was, only to witness and experience the events that occurred right after His last breath. To have your eyes opened by the earthshaking, powerful, and terrifying events. To whisper to yourself, "Surely. Surely this man WAS the Son of God. I believe." Ohhhhhhh, so much fun to dream and wonder what it would have been like. I can't blame you Joseph, for being a dreamer. :) (Thankful #5: That He has given us the real-life accounts of believers gone before us.)
Us today? We live by faith, and not by sight. *2 Corinthians 5:7 Someday, we WILL ALL see Him face to face. We will. The unbelieving and the believing. We will give an account. *2 Corinthians 5:10 *Romans 14:11 *Isaiah 45:22-24 I do not remind you of this to make you afraid. To some, it should make them afraid, but this time that isn't my point. I want you to think about how much you have taken/take the time to seek His face while in this mortal body of yours. How much have you sought His face in the little things? How much have you sought His face in the big things? How much time have you spent seeking Him for your path? *Psalm 27:8 And I mean every single step for your paths?
We have so much calling out to us in the here and now. So much. Other's opinions of how we should live. Other's agendas for how we should live. I'm not suggesting we forever reject the "other's" for fear of following them and not Jesus. I'm suggesting that we don't do enough seeking of His face for US. We go by hearsay of who He is by reading other people's books and blogs about Him without balancing out those things with our own time in His Word. We go by hearsay in the speakers and preachers that we listen to about Him without balancing out those things with our own time in His Word. Without sitting quietly before Him and communicating with Him and asking Him to show us the way. And, the next thing we know we've followed someone else rather than God. Someone else has become our god. I have said it before in this blog - I don't have anything against reading and listening to words from other godly Christians. I don't. But, when you and I spend more time reading and listening to the "other's" than we put forth the time and attention to keep up our own relationship with Him we risk an unhealthy balance. Like, bad junk food kind of unhealthy. It's tempting, but unhealthy. If you're feeling some toe stompin', believe me, I've been there and I do not look down on you. And, if you are still learning how to fellowship with Him, still learning how to seek His face, still learning how to hear His voice, (my next blogpost will be me sharing my own journey to learning to hear His voice - I hope you find it helpful and encouraging) PLEASE do not lose heart. It's a journey. A worthwhile journey. Just remember to prioritize.
Until we see Him face to face He has promised to surround us as with a shield. *Psalm 5:11-12 In *Psalm 73:23-25 there is a beautiful picture of Him walking beside us. Of Him going before us and guiding us with His counsel. In *Psalm 139:5 He hems us in behind and before and His hand is upon us. In *Isaiah 41:10 He upholds us. Oh my lands, what comforting words and precious promises. Stand up my friend, put on your armor, and be confident. He's got you surrounded and covered from top to bottom. HALLELUJAH! And, yee-haw! :) But even now, I also long for more of those moments when He turns around. When it takes your breath away as He looks you right in the eyes. And even more so I long for when I see - when I SEE Him face to face. When everything will be made right. When I look into His eyes and I see the love and authority and I fall down and worship. *Sigh* Can He just come like right now??... (Thankful #6: He surrounds and covers me.)
When others look into my eyes I wonder what they see? Please Jesus, let them see YOU. Let me decrease and You increase. Plleeeeeaaaaasssseeee??
I want to introduce you to Robert. I love his testimony. I have never met Robert but I so look forward to shaking his hand at least one time in eternity. Robert is in Heaven and now looks upon Jesus' face. *a little jealous over here* Robert was the grandfather of a good friend of mine. (I'm starting to say "Robert" too much. Like in the movie "Titanic" where Jack and Rose are constantly yelling each other's name. I think I'll switch to third person narrative.) He worked as a janitor. A janitor at the University of Iowa Hospital and Clinic. When it came time for family and friends to come together to celebrate his life and mourn his death, there was a very large group of them that did. A janitor with a large attendance at his funeral?! Why? A man who spent hours cleaning up after people. A man who spent hours fixing things around the school so that others could learn and work towards their careers and goals. A janitor who had a large attendance at his funeral not because of his career, but because people looked at him and saw Jesus. I have no doubts others saw Jesus because of the the quality time he spent seeking the face of Jesus first and foremost before he did his job. One day, Robert will stand before the judgement throne of God, look into the face of His Creator, Lord, and Master, and will hear "well done, good and faithful servant." But, can you also hear the Father say: "I was a stranger and you invited me in, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me, I was..." *Matthew 25:34-36 to which Robert replies "but my King and Master, I never stepped foot in a prison...my wife and I always knew who was staying in our home...I was never a doctor myself, I only worked at the college hospital as a janitor..." [Disclaimer: I have no idea if he did or didn't, it's the concept I want to emphasize. End of Disclaimer] And then, the testimonies from college students and staff from the U of Iowa begin to be heard: "You helped me to recognize I was imprisoned by my bitterness and hate towards my friend." "You were kind to me when no one else was." "You helped me to recognize my pride by showing me a humble, serving attitude." "You encouraged me when I was heart-sick and gave me some hope." "You helped me pray to repent of my sins and confess Jesus as Lord." "You recognized my faith was dying and you revived me with the love of God." "You..."
And I will say, "I was greatly blessed by your testimony." My friend's grandfather bloomed where he was planted. I want to do it too. I pray you'll do it too. How?
"Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full, in His wonderful face. And the things of earth will grow strangely dim...in the light of His glory and grace."
Look at Him. Let Him heal your hurts. Let Him tell you that you are beautiful and precious in His sight. (Or handsome for you men that don't want to be called beautiful...) Let Him bring you peace that passes all understanding in the midst of your crazy circumstances. Let Him be your enough in your mundane and difficult circumstances that seem to have no end...Let Him...Let Him... And, also, let Him pierce your heart and convict you of sin. Just a personal experience: Since beginning this blog (after dragging my feet to do so), I have had more times than I care to admit where I have told Him and myself that I'm not sure but that I'm done with it for now. That the nerves that I encounter in being vulnerable, added to the worry that I may misrepresent Him are enough to make me say that it's not for me. I've been concerned that I will run out of things to write about. Just this past week within a matter of a couple of days I felt Him breathe into me titles to use on this blog. Not just one or two, but seventeen. Yeah, seventeen. That should keep me busy for awhile. At the top of one of my notebook pages I wrote "I repent of being worried and fearful that I'll run out of things to say." Would I in my own strength confide, yes, I would be losing. But, He doesn't abandon us or run out of things to say. If God is for us, who can stand against us? *Romans 8:31 It's not about me, it's about Him. I pray you'll see HIM.
It's almost Thanksgiving. I love Thanksgiving. It's my favorite holiday. (Thankful #7: for His face.) (Thankful #8: for YOU!)
This face is a little bleary-eyed from staying up so late to type this. I'm going to bed, but if you look me in the eyes tomorrow I may have dark circles under them. Don't judge me, just smile and wave...just smile and wave...
Jules
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