[the mr.]

2006: I'm grocery shopping at Meijer. In the parking lot I pass a man (who from now on will be labeled Mr.) that has worked there for as long as I can remember. He brings carts in from the parking lot. I think to myself, "He always looks kinda sad... and well, empty. He also often looks like he's in a daze - like outside of work, he may play a lot of video games - such as Dungeons and Dragons, or other such creepy games..." The Holy Spirit surprises me by whispering, "Why don't you pray for him?" I'm at a particular time in my life where God's Spirit is moving a lot and I'm growing in so many ways. But still, it feels like an odd request. Even so, I pray for the man's soul. And over the next several years - off and on - I continue to offer up little prayers for the man when I see him. At times I wonder if I really heard correctly or if it was maybe just a one time deal. 'Cause I tend to be a doubting Thomas.  

2012: It's fall. I've joined a women's Bible study at church and we are going through the gospel of John. As part of the curriculum and what Kay Arthur is teaching us, there is a small interview that has room for you to write down the answers from three different people to questions about what they believe about God, Jesus, eternity, etc. It is there as a helpful tool to aid in speaking to others about the gospel message (especially to those that are intimidated by doing so) and meant to provide an opportunity to survey people (especially those that you don't know well) in a non-threatening way - with the hopes that they will be receptive to you, responding back with questions about why they don't believe/have a distorted belief in God, and/or will hear your testimony. Several women have used it and are beginning to have the opportunity to speak to the same person more than once. It is such a blessing to see God work. It's not a required assignment. And, I still have interviewed no one on the last day of the Bible study. I head to Meijer for groceries after I'm done at the church and drive across the front of the store to the side labeled "Groceries." As I pass the other entrance I notice Mr. sitting out front on a bench, clearly on a break. I glance over at my Bible Study book laying on the passenger seat as my heart begins to beat at a faster pace. "Interview the Mr.", I hear the Holy Spirit whisper. "Sigh, I so knew that was coming", I think to myself... and for a few moments while I find a parking space, I wrestle with the thought (ONCE AGAIN, you know me...) that maybe I didn't hear that one quite right?!?, but my heart pounds faster, and I can't deny what God is asking of me in this moment - when I just would like some food to put in my cupboards... 
I walk up to the Mr. I am SO nervous. I don't know that I would have been quite as nervous if it was anyone else. I tell him that I have an assignment for a class I'm taking, and wonder if he'd be willing to answer a few questions?? all while trying to keep my hands from visibly shaking. Sure, he doesn't mind doing that. I listen to his answers and I realize he definitely is not a believer. I didn't feel in that moment that I needed to talk to him further about his answers, so I thank him for his time and take my binder back to my car. 

2013: It is the first of the year and I have continued to offer up prayers for Mr. since my interview with him. And yes, it still feels a little bizarre. An older couple in our small group at church has been sharing with us how God has led various people into their lives since they've been married and I am both blessed and challenged by their testimonies of speaking to people when the Holy Spirit prompts them - as they have had opportunities to share God's love with them and even see them come to accept Christ as their personal Savior. One particular night as we are sharing prayer requests I realize that I need to ask that they pray for Mr. I have never told anyone about my urges to pray for this man up until now, and as I'm vulnerable in sharing with them, the man that has blessed us with his stories of listening to the Holy Spirit now keeps me 100% accountable and asks me on a regular basis if I've felt the need to talk to Mr. :) For months I smile and tell him, "I saw him this week, yes, but didn't feel prompted to talk with him." I begin to wonder if for some reason, I'm simply meant to just pray for his salvation.

2013: Late summer. I have not had the swell-est of mornings and I am in more of a hurry than usual as well as I find a place to park at Meijer and hope to quickly get in and out before it's time to pick up my son at school. I get out of my vehicle and walk through the rows of cars to head to the grocery-side entrance of the store. I look up and see Mr. walking down the main aisle of the parking lot as he comes to gather carts. I don't know what prompted me, but I looked around and realized there wasn't another soul in sight - which for the Meijer parking lot is unusual. As I'm walking through the cars towards the aisle he's coming down I realize he is turning and will walk right past me. My first thought is, "You're going to ask me to..." I didn't even finish my train of thought when He pipes up: "Talk to the man and tell him that I love him." Me: "This is SO not a good time. Bad day for me so far. I don't want to talk to someone I don't know!" Him: "Talk to him." I PROMISE you, I came within a millimeter of saying OUT LOUD an adamant, "NO!"
But I didn't. Because, well, I do have a little common sense and self control...but believe me, I was screaming it in my mind.
You guessed it. I walked right past him and did not say a word. 
It would be hard for me to describe how bad I felt as I walked into Meijer. I couldn't help but think, "I'm such a LOSER."
I walk halfway through that grocery store with a knot in my stomach before I surrendered and told God, "I'm so sorry. How COWARDLY. If you will have faith in me one more time, and you REALLY want me to talk to Mr., give me a second chance." Not more than five minutes later I see Mr. and one of his co-workers walking down one of the main aisles to the back of the store and I feel so discouraged. They're obviously going on break and I'm getting close to being done shopping. I don't think I'm going to get my second chance. 
I walk to the front of the store. Once again, I've chosen the checkout lane that looks the speediest (because I'm in a hurry, remember?) but turns out to be the slowest. And yes, when I figure out this mystery, I will let you in on the solution. I FINALLY get the last bag into my cart, tell the cashier to have a nice day, and turn - just in time to see Mr. about 15 ft. away from me. Folding up boxes to recycle in an employee hallway. All. By. His. Lonesome. Self. I do not remember clearly, but I'm pretty sure my first thought, before I could even take it captive, was: "Oh....crap." ;) But in that same moment I realize how good God is. How utterly long suffering and patient He is with us. He's given me a second opportunity. 

And I take it.

Me: "Hi."
Mr.: "Hi."
Me: "I don't know if you remember me, but you answered some questions for me a long time ago?"
Mr.: "Yeah, I remember you..."
Me: "_______________________________________________"
Honestly, I don't remember what all I said. That may sound dorky, but my nerves were on full alert and all I could think was that I couldn't believe I was doing what I was doing. I do remember telling him that God loves him and that if he ever needs a church, he was welcome at ours.     

And then I realize it's getting a little awkward for him and I just want to say that it is really, really awkward for me too - but I let him walk away.

And then, I am flooded with a peace that truly passes all understanding. *Philippians 4:7 My heart truly floods with joy and I know without a shadow of a doubt that if I never talk to Mr. again, I can rest knowing that I listened to my Heavenly Father. That I had been tested, and been found faithful in this moment. So much joy I felt. I loaded my groceries into the car, climbed into the passenger seat, and called the man from our group. I remember telling him what peace and joy I had as he rejoiced with me. And then I hung up. And then the doubts and accusations come. "Well, that was one of the dorkiest things you've ever done." "You didn't even make any sense." "He's probably thinking you are ca-raaaazy ladyyyyy." "What if he's a creep-o to whom you really shouldn't be talking to?" "What if he finds out where you live?" And for a few moments I agree with those doubts. What was I thinking?! Wait. Stop. I recognize the enemy and I remind myself that in my weakness God is strong *2 Corinthians 12:10 and that He can take my bumbling and use it. I leave it in His hands.

April 20, 2014: I have not talked to Mr. since that day. I haven't felt prompted to. There was that one time this past winter that I was walking into the store busy bringing up my grocery list on my phone, when I look up just in time to see Mr. quickly put his head down and pull the hood on his sweatshirt as far down over his face as he possible could. I feel a twinge of guilt as I thought, "See, I have completely ruined this man's opinion of Christians. He thinks I'm loony", before I remind myself again that when I am weak, He is strong. I say a little prayer for Mr. and I leave him in His more than capable hands. Then I can't help but grin a little at Mr.'s desperate attempt to quickly hide himself from me.

Back to reality: It's going on 8 years that I first felt the prompt to pray for Mr.
I had never before experienced such a burden for the soul of someone I didn't know at all. Sure, I have prayed for the salvation of family and friends for years, but never a complete stranger. Honestly, it still feels a little strange at times. But this experience has slowly changed me and taught me good lessons. 

We have the Message. The only Way, the only Truth, and the only Life *John 14:6 dwells within us and cries out for us to share the Good News. To show the world there is hope and salvation and freedom from sin available. 

I'm going to assume that if you are reading this, you have at least one person on this earth that you can call friend. (If not, my goodness, my heart bleeds for you! May He provide you with a true friend.) I'm also going to assume that you are aware that there was a polar vortex this past winter. (i.e. it creates a most brutal of winters! At least in the Midwest.) One more story: I was at Meijer (yes! I go there a lot! hehe) one day this past winter and the parking lot was particularly icy and covered in snow. I was almost to the doors when I heard a cry for help. To someone called Owen, Loren - or similar - I couldn't quite make the name out. I turned around to see a Meijer employee sitting flat on the ground with his legs straight out in front of him, holding up his arm for whomever he had hollered to. I turned further to see that it was the Mr. to whom he had called. They are both very heavy-set people. I don't say that to put them down - I only want to explain why he didn't get up on his own. Mr. reached down with both hands and helped him to his feet. In that moment I felt God give me a picture of the verses that are in *Ecclesiastes 4.

⁸ There was a man all alone;
    he had neither son nor brother.
There was no end to his toil,
    yet his eyes were not content with his wealth.
“For whom am I toiling,” he asked,
    “and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?”
This too is meaningless—
    a miserable business!

⁹ Two are better than one,
    because they have a good return for their labor:
¹⁰ If either of them falls down,
    one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
    and has no one to help them up! 

 

I felt Him whisper to my soul, "There are so many who have fallen. So many who are sitting flat on the ground stuck in their sin and unbelief and no one has offered a helping hand and shared with them how to rise up and walk in new life." It was ironic to me that day that it was Mr. that helped him up. I walked into Meijer praying a little prayer that Mr. would someday surrender and believe in the One and Only. That he would accept the hand of the Creator who formed him and made him. The only hand that can raise him up.

 

This past week I read on the news that the vice principal of the South Korean high school who was rescued from a sinking ferry full of his students was found hanged to death. It broke my heart. I found myself wondering if anyone had shared with him the message of hope. Did he have a friend of Jesus that at least told him about the man that died for him so that he could have eternal life? Had he heard it but refused to believe in that hope and allowed despair to swallow him? It made me angry at the enemy. He loves to see people destroyed and wiped out. Sitting ducks if you will - flat on the ground with no one to help them up.  

 

I've felt God asking me to share my experiences with all of you now, and I challenge you today. I challenge you to rethink your timidity towards sharing the gospel. Maybe you don't struggle to speak to others about Christ, even complete strangers. (Who are just trying to do their job at the grocery store.);) If so, may God continue to give you boldness, wisdom, and guidance!! But for those of you  - like me - to whom it can rattle the nerves just a bit when you think of all the things that could go wrong and the answers that you might not know when you speak to others about Christ, I challenge you climb out of the boat *Matthew 14:22-33 and at least begin to keep your eyes open to the people around you. To at least keep your ears open for the sound of His prompting. To some, it's going to evoke a similar response of fear that the disciples felt when they thought that Jesus was a ghost *vs. 26 ;)but keep your eyes on Jesus, don't look down, and trust Him. I picture the first time that God asked me to say something to Mr. in the parking lot where I flat out refused, as my time of looking around at the crashing waves and hearing the howling winds as Peter did. We're not going to get it right every time. I hope that comes as an encouragement to you.

 

Truthfully, I may never talk to Mr. again. (I'm comfortable with that. hehe) I may never find out if he accepted Christ. It may have just been God teaching me lessons on relying on Him to be my voice, or Him testing my obedience. But, I DO want to be ready if God needs me to help Mr., or another soul up off the ground. I sure would be happy to have you as a companion.

 

I am resolved in this. These can be added to my resolution verses in opening my heart to His work: (see previous post)

 

*Isaiah 6:8 Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"

 

*I Samuel 3:10 The Lord came and stood there, calling as at the other times, "Samuel! Samuel!" Then Samuel said, "Speak. For your servant is listening."

 

God, you know my timid heart. It really can be easier to pray for someone's salvation and hope that someone else more equipped will share with them, rather than speaking to them ourselves. But, you have asked us to go and make disciples. Unveil my eyes to the opportunities that You present to me. Uncover my ears to hear Your voice prompting me. Please God, give me Your words. Thank you for using weakness. Make me strong in You. Help me to live radically for You - to trust Your voice no matter how bizarre Your requests may feel.

 

Thank you God for friends. Bless my friends who are reading this now. Bless them with hands that reach out to lift those who have fallen. Give us the grace to persevere in prayer and in speaking to those who still sit in darkness, when they won't accept Your love and forgiveness. When they refuse to believe. For until the very moment they breathe their last breath, they are worth fighting for. Increase in our hearts a burden for lost souls. 

 

Happy Easter dear friend. He is RISEN! Go and share the good news with those that sit flat on the ground and need a friend to reach them with the good news. (Don't be surprised if there is one sitting on the ground needing help where you shop for your groceries.)

 

Jules