I've always thought it would be so cool to be a detective. A secret agent, who goes undercover and figures out the mystery of who-what-when-where-how. I remember when I was in youth group one of my favorite social activities that we did was when several of those in the group would be chosen to disguise themselves as much as possible, then head to the mall while the rest of the kids would walk the mall trying to find them. The searchers wouldn't know who the hiders were, which made it even more fun! One year I got to dress up. It was so funnnnnnn. Got me a big, curly, white blond wig - put on heavy make-up and walked the mall trying to stay disguised:) Although, my track record with heavier make-up hasn't always been so disguising...
I do the bookkeeping for my husband's business and often on the days I'm in the office we'll go out for dinner that night. Ed's desire to thank me for helping him out and sparing me from having to cook after a day in the office. (Very nice of him, yes.) At the beginning of this year I took two of my kids and actually met him at the restaurant because he had some errands to take care of up until suppertime. It was in the middle of winter and by the time we left the house it was dark outside. My lips were crazy chapped as they often are in the dry air at that time of year and I couldn't wait to get my hands on some Chapstick once we headed down the road. I felt around in my purse until I felt the tube and very liberally smeared it all over my mouth. Some of you are going to know the feeling of instant relief and gratitude I felt! We arrived at the restaurant before my husband and I gave him a big smile as he sat down in the booth with us. For any that don't know my husband, he is a straight shooter if there ever was one. For the most part it's a blessing but sometimes I do wish he wouldn't be QUITE so honest. Hehe.
Me: "Hi honey!"
Ed: (no hi back) "Uhhh, nice lipstick."
Ed: (no hi back) "Uhhh, nice lipstick."
Me thinking: ??? Does he wish I would wear lipstick?!? I'm confused?!
Me: "Um, thanks??"
Ed: (half-snort) "Is that a new look, or what?"
Me: (getting somewhat irritated at his line of questioning) "It's CHAP-stick. What are you talking about?"
Ed: "You've got colored stuff all around your mouth."
Me: "Whatever...it's just shiny 'cause my lips were so chapped."
Ed: (with sarcasm and almost a guffaw) "No, REALLY. It's a bright color and it's everywhere..." (while motioning in a circle motion around his mouth)
Me: reaching up and wiping above my lip with my finger...looking at my finger and seeing bright orange... "Oh no."
You see, in the dark I had actually grabbed my tinted Burt's Bees lip balm which has the same shape as a tube of Chapstick. I was so embarrassed. I had asked for a table like that. I had said hello to a girl from our previous church whom I hadn't seen in months. I had smiled at our waitress and ordered our drinks like that. I asked my two kids who had come with me why in the world they didn't tell me?! "I didn't see anything!..." Sigh. In their defense it is a darker restaurant because of their lighting - but I think they simply were in their own little worlds enough that they didn't notice mama's mishap, unfortunately. My husband said he noticed it from ten feet away and thought, "Yeeeeeeepp! I'm. With. Herrrrr." While my family laughed at me - I was none too amused at the time. Sometimes I really do get tired of doing airheaded things. :/ But, later that night after we had gone to bed and Ed was already sawing logs in the Redwood Forest, the whole incident finally struck me extremely funny. I laughed so hard that I eventually snorted and woke him up. In his sleepy state he wondered what was wrong(?!?) (bless his heart) and sighed when I told him to go back to sleep - that the whole lipstick-gone-wrong was finally striking me as funny...
The moral of the story is that for the most part this was a rabbit trail story - but also to prove that I should only "disguise" myself in daylight. In front of a mirror. Otherwise, I just become a clown face.
If I was going to be a secret agent I'd want to work for the best. I'd want to dig for clues, look for signs, and put pieces of the puzzle together until I'd found the truth. I'd want to learn how to recognize the telltale signs of when someone is lying or being deceitful. Pretending to be on the side of good when they are in fact, not.
There is good secret, and there is bad secret.
It is so refreshing to me when God teaches me examples of humility when He allows me to hear of or see instances where someone has fulfilled His calling to be an agent of His in secrecy. Who serves or gives or uplifts another or cares for another tirelessly without any acknowledgment. Who honored another above themselves. *Romans 12:10 Without the need for anyone to know, or the need for any accolades to be given.
Over the past year and a half (approximately):) God has opened my eyes in greater ways to His name El Roi: the God who sees me. *Genesis 16:13 [no pun intended in that last sentence] ;) When we are children - and I suppose even as adults for some - "the God who sees me" can be a force of fear and judgement in our view of who He is, in an unhealthy way. But, the flip side of that is to become cold towards the healthy fear of Him that I believe is a vital part of our relationship with Him. *Deuteronomy 10:12 *I Samuel 12:24 *Psalm 25:14 *Psalm 34:7 *Proverbs 9:10 and, oh my, many many more. There are precious promises that are given for those who fear His name. I cringe more and more at the lack of reverent fear for God that our society has shifted toward. People can be so adept at keeping up good appearances while being so weak in the secret places. Last year Ed & I went through The Truth Project, released by Focus on the Family. (What a blessing of a video/study series!) Del Tackett shared a story of how he had been mentoring/keeping accountable a young man struggling with pornography. He asked the man after he had fallen prey to it again if He believed that God was omniscient - was everywhere, and saw all things. "Yes," the man replied. "No you don't," replied Mr. Tackett. "Because if you truly, TRULY believed it and you understood His holiness, and that sin is detestable to God, you would not make the choice to bring pornography into His presence." [Please know I make no claims to be repeating this word for word. But hopefully you will understood the powerful example of what he was teaching] How the enemy loves for us to believe that if humans don't see, it's not as harmful. That even if God does see, the thrill of what our flesh desires, trumps God's delivering presence.
Not only does His presence deliver, but He sees.
He sees when a Samaritan stops to help a wounded enemy with no one else around. *Luke 10:25-37
He sees when one remains silent when the temptation to gossip calls. *Proverbs 16:28 *Proverbs 20:19
He sees when one remains silent when they could pass along a hurt with the intent that another has sympathy pains and a damaged view of the one that inflicted the wound. *Proverbs 26:20
He sees when those that have insignificance in the world's eyes serve with all of their heart, as unto the Lord. *Colossians 3:23
Etc.
He sees everything.
God created secret things to be both powerful and beautiful. Giving & serving, prayer, fasting. *Matthew 6 Powerful, because He receives the glory. Powerful, because His hand of favor is towards those who obey His secret things. All three subjects referenced in *Matthew 6 have applied to them these words: "Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you." Our minds must also comprehend that He sees our hearts as well. If our motivation is solely going through the motions to receive a reward I'm afraid the blessing(s) may not apply. If our motivation is for some sort of recognition I'm afraid the blessing(s) may not apply.
In *Mark 9:33-34 Jesus asks His disciples a question that draws silence. They had just arrived in Capernaum and while resting in a house there He said, "What were you arguing about on the road?" I'm so curious what reasons they brought to the table as they reasoned with each other as to why they were the greatest. So curious. "But they kept quiet because on the way they had argued about who was the greatest." Human nature - for the most part - is wired for recognition. Oh, that I - that we - could be a people of secrecy when it comes to serving Him. That I could come to the place where my servanthood comes with no strings attached and that I only serve because He sees. This gets repeated in my writing - and although my life hasn't mirrored this truth perfectly: He. Is. Enough. His grace is enough. The beautifully ironic thing about God is that He IS a rewarder. When you and I step back and let Him flow through us He is generous with His gifts. Humility comes before honor. *Proverbs 15:33 *Proverbs 18:12 You know what else is ironic? How quickly then, we as humans mishandle the honor. What an important reason to stay accountable. The Bible has some revealing stories of both those who handled the honor and stayed humble before Him & those that soberingly, did not.
I was reminded this week of God's work in Gideon's life *Judges 7 when He asked him to lead the Israelites against the Midianites. 32,000 men had joined Gideon to fight against the enemy. God came to Gideon one morning while they were camped south of the Midianites and said these revealing words: "You have too many men. I cannot deliver Midian into their hands, or Israel would boast against me: ""My own strength has saved me."" He surely knows our weaknesses, does He not?;) Gideon ended up with only 300 men to fight against the Midianites. It's a fascinating story, chocked full of life lessons.
Humans will always wrestle with humility and being content with doing things in secret. But the truth is that the more that we spend time with Him in secret the more we will be able to work undercover and be content with it. In the secret places with Him He is our Wonderful Counselor who frees us from and heals our pride, our envy, our anguish, whatever you can name. When we are in our closets with the door closed *Matthew 6:6 and it's dark - it's His light that shines. In His light we see light! *Psalm 36:9 I would not want to write on this subject without mentioning the fact that when you spend time with the Light, you cannot help but reflect it. We ARE the light of the world in a dark place that NEEDS it. *Matthew 5:15-16 But reflecting His light so that others glorify God is a completely different way to live from subtly hinting or blatantly stating what all we do for the Kingdom.
The above subject is enough for me to pray "Create in me a clean heart O God, and renew a right spirit within me..." *Psalm 51:10 Oh, for the wisdom and the conviction to be a light that shines for Him and has nothing to do with me.
How different this world would be if we as Christians lived remembering and recognizing that God sees. (It is profound for me to try to wrap my brain around!) There are NO secrets with Him. None. If we lived remembering that as we go about our days everything we do is as unto Him. *Colossians 3: 23-24 Whether we are spoon feeding our infant that can do nothing for him or herself when we'd like to just feed ourselves first for once (have I been there? Oh yes.) or whether we are completing a not-so-pleasant task that our boss has asked of us or volunteering of our time or...
Surely. Surely we would never live half-heartedly again.
We'd be bright lights shining in secret and unseen places.
Because secret places can be dark. Much evil is done in secret with the misconception that no one has seen or will see. Much is done in secret with the misconception that half-hearted effort when no one is looking is ok. Much is done in secret that we would never dream of doing or attempt to do in front of an audience. But there is always an audience of One. The One to whom we will all someday give an account to. *Romans 14: 11-13 It is not my intention to strike hellfire fear into everyone with that statement. Although He is the perfect and righteous Judge and I believe we would do well to allow ourselves to be reminded of His Holiness and our unworthiness, *Isaiah 6:5 *Revelation 4 I say that most of all to state the truth. It actually gives me comfort to know that one day all the wrong in this world will be brought to justice. That Truth will reign. That there will be no more half-given, twisted truth by the media. No more corrupted leadership. No more back-biting in quiet places. No more dishonest gain. No more evil succeeding seemingly without accountability or justice. But with that reality comes a sobering feeling as well. Because judgement for many on that day will bring much sorrow for sins committed. It's thoughts like these that burden my heart for the lost who are not covered under His blood.
Thank God for grace.
Thank God for His name El Roi. Does His name bring you dread or freedom? Dread, because the things you know you shouldn't be doing in secret are more desirable to you than the freedom He can give you from those very things? Does His name bring you contentment or dissatisfaction? Dissatisfaction, because knowing that He sees is simply not enough to bring you contentment in your service for Him. You'd just love for even one person to know of your sacrifice or service. His name has been changing me (for the last year and a half especially.) His name has convicted me and checked my motives many times. Am I a work in progress? I would hope you'd call me out if I'd say I had arrived and lived this with perfection. Yes, I am a work in progress, but with His help I HAVE made progress. In what specific ways? Well, that's for me to know and if He so desires, for you to find out about. ;)
Go, friend. Be a secret agent for Him and enjoy meeting with Him in secret, relishing His presence.
Maybe sometime we will cross paths on a shared secret mission and you will look at me and be kind enough to tell me that I have colored lip balm smeared out of the lines of my mouth. And, I will thank you.
Jules
In *Mark 9:33-34 Jesus asks His disciples a question that draws silence. They had just arrived in Capernaum and while resting in a house there He said, "What were you arguing about on the road?" I'm so curious what reasons they brought to the table as they reasoned with each other as to why they were the greatest. So curious. "But they kept quiet because on the way they had argued about who was the greatest." Human nature - for the most part - is wired for recognition. Oh, that I - that we - could be a people of secrecy when it comes to serving Him. That I could come to the place where my servanthood comes with no strings attached and that I only serve because He sees. This gets repeated in my writing - and although my life hasn't mirrored this truth perfectly: He. Is. Enough. His grace is enough. The beautifully ironic thing about God is that He IS a rewarder. When you and I step back and let Him flow through us He is generous with His gifts. Humility comes before honor. *Proverbs 15:33 *Proverbs 18:12 You know what else is ironic? How quickly then, we as humans mishandle the honor. What an important reason to stay accountable. The Bible has some revealing stories of both those who handled the honor and stayed humble before Him & those that soberingly, did not.
I was reminded this week of God's work in Gideon's life *Judges 7 when He asked him to lead the Israelites against the Midianites. 32,000 men had joined Gideon to fight against the enemy. God came to Gideon one morning while they were camped south of the Midianites and said these revealing words: "You have too many men. I cannot deliver Midian into their hands, or Israel would boast against me: ""My own strength has saved me."" He surely knows our weaknesses, does He not?;) Gideon ended up with only 300 men to fight against the Midianites. It's a fascinating story, chocked full of life lessons.
Humans will always wrestle with humility and being content with doing things in secret. But the truth is that the more that we spend time with Him in secret the more we will be able to work undercover and be content with it. In the secret places with Him He is our Wonderful Counselor who frees us from and heals our pride, our envy, our anguish, whatever you can name. When we are in our closets with the door closed *Matthew 6:6 and it's dark - it's His light that shines. In His light we see light! *Psalm 36:9 I would not want to write on this subject without mentioning the fact that when you spend time with the Light, you cannot help but reflect it. We ARE the light of the world in a dark place that NEEDS it. *Matthew 5:15-16 But reflecting His light so that others glorify God is a completely different way to live from subtly hinting or blatantly stating what all we do for the Kingdom.
The above subject is enough for me to pray "Create in me a clean heart O God, and renew a right spirit within me..." *Psalm 51:10 Oh, for the wisdom and the conviction to be a light that shines for Him and has nothing to do with me.
How different this world would be if we as Christians lived remembering and recognizing that God sees. (It is profound for me to try to wrap my brain around!) There are NO secrets with Him. None. If we lived remembering that as we go about our days everything we do is as unto Him. *Colossians 3: 23-24 Whether we are spoon feeding our infant that can do nothing for him or herself when we'd like to just feed ourselves first for once (have I been there? Oh yes.) or whether we are completing a not-so-pleasant task that our boss has asked of us or volunteering of our time or...
Surely. Surely we would never live half-heartedly again.
We'd be bright lights shining in secret and unseen places.
Because secret places can be dark. Much evil is done in secret with the misconception that no one has seen or will see. Much is done in secret with the misconception that half-hearted effort when no one is looking is ok. Much is done in secret that we would never dream of doing or attempt to do in front of an audience. But there is always an audience of One. The One to whom we will all someday give an account to. *Romans 14: 11-13 It is not my intention to strike hellfire fear into everyone with that statement. Although He is the perfect and righteous Judge and I believe we would do well to allow ourselves to be reminded of His Holiness and our unworthiness, *Isaiah 6:5 *Revelation 4 I say that most of all to state the truth. It actually gives me comfort to know that one day all the wrong in this world will be brought to justice. That Truth will reign. That there will be no more half-given, twisted truth by the media. No more corrupted leadership. No more back-biting in quiet places. No more dishonest gain. No more evil succeeding seemingly without accountability or justice. But with that reality comes a sobering feeling as well. Because judgement for many on that day will bring much sorrow for sins committed. It's thoughts like these that burden my heart for the lost who are not covered under His blood.
Thank God for grace.
Thank God for His name El Roi. Does His name bring you dread or freedom? Dread, because the things you know you shouldn't be doing in secret are more desirable to you than the freedom He can give you from those very things? Does His name bring you contentment or dissatisfaction? Dissatisfaction, because knowing that He sees is simply not enough to bring you contentment in your service for Him. You'd just love for even one person to know of your sacrifice or service. His name has been changing me (for the last year and a half especially.) His name has convicted me and checked my motives many times. Am I a work in progress? I would hope you'd call me out if I'd say I had arrived and lived this with perfection. Yes, I am a work in progress, but with His help I HAVE made progress. In what specific ways? Well, that's for me to know and if He so desires, for you to find out about. ;)
Go, friend. Be a secret agent for Him and enjoy meeting with Him in secret, relishing His presence.
Maybe sometime we will cross paths on a shared secret mission and you will look at me and be kind enough to tell me that I have colored lip balm smeared out of the lines of my mouth. And, I will thank you.
Jules
Thanks, Julie.
ReplyDeleteAnd, oh my word that story is so funny. I am giggling at my computer.